yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Text me some of your sweat
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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