STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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