Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
