aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize