she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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