she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
