I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
