I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
