that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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