Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
