do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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