I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
