5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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