on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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