Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
