so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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