I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
