Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
