no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
