is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
