if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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