He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
