Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
