So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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