so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize