It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She bit a glass in half.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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