lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
