she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He better not be in your backpack
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
