I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
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I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
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Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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