Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize