Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize