New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
