would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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