I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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