You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He passed out mid-signature
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
