I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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