Dual....:-)
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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