We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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