He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
