she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We are two peas in an std pod
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
