When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
