well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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