Kiss
Puke
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
