3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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