Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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