And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
