did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
