that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
