He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
