operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i think my cat just said my name.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
