It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
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This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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