Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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