Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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