I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
