You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
