You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
