can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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