I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
