Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
