I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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